She's Not on the Bash

Lina had been out casting an eyeball on the city, up one street and down another. She still hadn’t seen hide nor hair of Grady, but she knew without a doubt that this was the place he’d come. She sighed; she understood his distinctive dislike of Aunt Gladys, but really! It was only for a few days. She didn’t ask him to get togged to the bricks often, and she thought he should just suck it up and stop roaring about it.

She headed back to the Shelter, really glad that she had a place to lie dead for a while. She’d been fortunate that when the blip occurred, she’d been packed and ready to go, her tweed Mendel suitcase in hand. Almost immediately upon finding herself in the city, someone had directed her to the Shelter. The red-haired girl, Brit, had offered her milk (which she declined) and cookies (which she accepted), really marvelous chocolate ones with a creamy white filling inside. They looked like Oreo Sandwiches. Of course she’d had them before, but these were different, smaller and darker, but still very, very good. She loved buying them by the pound in the tin with the glass top, where you could see all the cookies inside.

As she walked into the Shelter’s lounge, she saw quite a crowd of demons, nekos, lycans and the occasional apparent human. They were eating, reading, talking and trying to make sense of the television that sometimes worked and sometimes didn’t. Lina had tried to sort the television out a time or two, but she couldn’t find an antennae, and when she thumped it soundly on the side to try to focus the picture, all she heard was the echo of a hollow wooden cabinet.

Lina saw Brit sitting on the lap of her husband, Ethan, and waved a hello. Ethan had been talking to a woman called Naki about something he called his kindred, and one of them in particular who hadn’t been nice at all to Brit. Lina walked over to the drink machine and fumbled in her purse for some change, puzzling that the RC-Cola came in cans and not bottles.

“The last time one of my kindred acted in a manner I didn’t find civilized towards my beloved, I watched him bleed his mistakes onto the sidewalk where he stood,” Ethan said in a voice like honey. Lina couldn’t help but shiver a little at that voice, even though she knew that Ethan was a man who clearly knew how to heave an alley apple if he had to. She continued earwigging as she decided to brave the drink machine, depositing her change. “I allowed his body to be collected,” Ethan continued mildly, “And he eventually apologized for his ignorance.”

“Oh, hi, Lina!” Brit smiled warmly. “We have soup and you can have some ice cream.” Lina pressed the button selecting her drink. With a thunk, a rusty can of RC Cola fell from the dispenser. She picked it up and looked at it for a moment as Brit lisped, “That drink is way good with these chocolate and marshmallow things called Moon Pies.”

Noki grinned, “That’s what they call a hitchhiker’s breakfast…RC Cola and a Moon Pie.”

Lina turned from the drink machine, “I love Moon Pies. Where I come from they only cost a nickel and they’re big!” Lina wandered on over to the tables, setting down the drink can and not even attempting to open it. She noticed Brit had on a beautiful dark green skirt and top. Ethan’s clothing matched it. But where Ethan’s jacket and shirt and pants covered him fully, there seemed to be something wrong with Brit’s. Her entire belly was showing!

“Brit, honey,” Lina asked in her most polite voice, “Are you cold?” She immediately began to think of ways to fix the torn blouse. Truly, she was surprised that Ethan had let Brit dress that way. He was usually so particular about her clothing and Lina knew that he was a candy leg with money to burn.

Brit looked up with a quirk. “Um….no. My mouth was just for a moment when I took bites of ice cream. But when I stopped, it warmed up again.” Brit snuggled up against Ethan, looking quite contented although Ethan had begun to frown.

“I don’t mean to be impolite,” Lina said as she walked closer to the pair, “But if you need some clothes I think I have something that will fit you in my suitcase.” She was genuinely perplexed by the style of Brit’s clothing. “It looks like there’s a piece of your top missing…unless…..” A realization dawned on Lina. Maybe Brit was supposed to look this way. After all, she’d read Gigi and she knew how the world worked. She bit her lip trying to be tactful. “Well, the fancy ladies wear those kind of tops where I’m from. But I didn’t think you were a fancy lady,” Lina said apologetically.

Brit’s hands drifted over her skirt as she looked down at her outfit. “It was made like this by Ethan’s seamstress,” she replied. “And….it is brand new!” She was obviously very proud of her new clothing. A puzzled expression then crossed Brit’s face. “What’s a fancy lady?” she asked.

Lina cleared her throat, trying for the utmost decorum. “A fancy lady? Well…you know…a bat…a girl on the bash? A working girl?” Lina flushed a shade darker. “I really don’t mean to be impolite or anything, sugar. But I do have a few things that might fit you.”

Brit traced the pattern in her top with her fingertips, very much enjoying the fabric. “Well, I do work lots,” she said. With a laugh she turned to Ethan, “But I don’t mop!”

Ethan, however, did not laugh. If eyes could be said to blaze, his did. He slid Brit off his lap and stood facing Lina. “You might want to be very careful of your choice of words in the future, Lina.” Ethan’s voice was like iron. “I will not explain now what much more subtle remarks have earned others in the past but do not judge, not to be judged yourself.” He folded his arms across his chest. “Especially not in my presence, especially not about my wife. Are we clear on this?”

It was pretty clear to Lina that Ethan wasn’t really expecting anything else than a ‘yes and amen’ in answer to his question. He eyed Lina closely, the veins on his throat and arms growing more evident, his eyes narrowing as a dark mist covered them. But Lina had heard that tone of voice before and wasn’t the slightest bit put off by it. She leaned in closer, speaking to Ethan as though she were completely oblivious to his meaning.

“I do try to do my best with my choice of words, Ethan,” Lina said sweetly in her soft southern accent. “And in my choice of clothing as well. I have always perceived you to be a gentleman…that’s why I was so surprised to see Brit dressed like…well…a fancy lady.” She tilted her head and brought her hand up to the side of her mouth as if telling Ethan a secret that was meant for him and him only. “You know all that belly?” she asked confidentially. “It just makes her look like a common streetwalker. You know your onions…every cake eater in the city will be after her.”

Her eyes wide, Brit looked from Ethan to Lina to Naki and back to Ethan again. She walked quietly up behind him and said, “Turmoil.” In a soft voice. No turmoil at the shelter. Lina knew that was one of the rules. Brit wrapped her arms around Ethan’s waist and laid her head on his back.

Ethan could feel his fangs growing. He bit down hard to keep himself from losing control. His mouth opened then shut, a lecture about appearances, looks, modern and contemporary clothing and what was viable to maintain in the city coursing through his mind. But his fangs reminded him of what was possible and what was not. He inched away from Lina and back toward Brit.

“Lina,” he began, “If you know what is good for you, you will keep yourself from interfering with what is not meant for you to interfere with. The first paragraph in savoir vivre, ‘Do always strive to make those around you feel as comfortable as possible.’” His tone was icy cold. “This is a warning and a well meant one. Another comment like the one you just made and I will not remember my origin, reacting accordingly.”

Ethan turned quickly on his heels and strode out of the shelter. Seconds later, Brit and Naki and Lina could hear the crashing of concrete and bricks.

“Hmm,” Lina said as she tilted her head, listening. “That doesn’t sound good. I just thought you might like a sweater, Brit.”

Brit blinked as the sound of concrete and bricks on talons continued. Puffing her cheeks, she smiled nicely to Lina. “My beloved has lots of pretty things for me to wear…including sweaters…but thank you.” As the noise of bricks and concrete being reduced to rubble grew louder, Brit said, “I asked for Moon pies to go with the RC.” Shifting her weight from left to right, she said, “I need to check on Ethan. I think turmoil is another name for hissy fit,” she lisped, and with that, she scampered to the front door.

“I believe I’m going I’m going to try to find a Co-Cola,” Lina sighed, discretely heading for the back door to the alley.

Timeless Toxian Tip: Remember your vampire biting etiquette. The polite thing to do first is to ask.